20150425雅思写作考试回顾

                             张云龙

Writing task 1 表示百分比变化的柱状图

A UK survey about where people mostly used the internet. The data has been divided into four categories: home, workplace, college and library.

写作难点：

1. 静态百分比的表达，需注意句型的丰富度

2. 动态趋势的表达，需注意句型的丰富度

3. 辨别特征值，对地点进行分组。通过观察图表可以发现：

  a. 在家上网的人所占百分比在四个时间点都是值，而

在图书馆上网的人都是最小值，并且两者随时间变化的 

趋势正好完全相反。

  b. 处于中间的办公地点与学校在前三个年份都是工作地

点比学校占比多，而最后一年学校

解决方案：

四段式

首段标题改写

第二段强调home与library这两个特征值，并集中描述home的变化趋势，用一句话说明library与home正好相反

第三段描述workplace的变化趋势（相对平稳），强调college在最后一年的。

Sample answer:

The graph illustrates how the proportions of people who got online in different sites varied in 1998, 2000, 2002 and 2004.

As shown in the bar chart, homes remained the most popular places for net access while libraries the least, with workplaces and colleges competing with each other. In 1998, almost 55% of people surfed internet at home. The figure for net access, however, fell to a bottom of 48% in 2000, which was followed by a 2% increase during the next two years. Likewise, the years between 2002 and 2004 saw a slight rise in the number of net surfers, with the percentage reaching a peak of just 60%. By contrast, an opposite trend was found in the proportions of people who got online in libraries, with a highest point of 18% in 2000.

In 1998, quite a few people had access to the internet in their working places (28%), though still greatly outnumbered by the proportion of those at home. The figure remained stable in the following four years but deceased to approximately 15% in 2004. Colleges, which attracted 5% more net surfers than working places in the same year, fell behind the latter in the years 1998, 2000 and 2002.

Writing task 2  犯罪类话题 单边选择

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a rubbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

正方观点：青少年和成年人在犯同样罪行的情况下应受到相同的惩罚

反方观点：同样的罪行青少年与成人在量刑上应该区别对待（青少年应从宽处理）

文章结构：

本题课支持正方观点，也可支持反方观点，建议采用以下五段式结构

首段：话题引入+标题观点转述+自己的态度

第二段：让步，简单阐述自己反对观点的好处

第三、四段：主体段，详细说明支持观点的好处，两个分论点

结尾段：总结

思路分析：

如支持正方观点, 可从从量刑应与社会危害相一致入手，强调青少年犯罪与成人犯罪具有同样的社会危害性。宽慰受害者及其家人，避免是青少年用年龄作挡箭牌肆无忌惮逃避法律制裁。

如支持反方观点，应首先强调未成年人与成年人的区别，主要体现在心智发展上。未成年人的心智发展是不完全的，易受不良信息的影响，辨别能力较弱，无法完全控制自己的行为，对犯罪的危害没有充分的认识，这是由自然规律决定的，是共性问题，无法避免。心智发展的局限性导致了主观恶性的降低，自然应该轻判。

其次可以分析未成年犯罪往往与家人的漠不关心，忽视甚至虐待紧密相关，而成年人有更强的解决问题的能力这一事实，强调青少年犯罪的根本诱导因素以及关爱和教导在改造少年犯方面比重刑更有效果。

Sample answer:

There has long been heated debate over juvenile delinquency. A prevalent attitude is that young offenders who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adult criminals. In my opinion, it is so narrow a belief that would have many negative impacts on delinquent correction.

Admittedly, penalties for any crimes must accord with the harmful consequences to society. This, together with a view that harsh punishment could give as much spiritual comport as possible to victims of such felony as robbery and murder seems a sound argument for equal treatment in conviction and sentence.

However, analysis of malice, or intention to harm shall take priority in most cases. It is widely acknowledged that the mind of the youth is not well developed, with restricted capacity for judgment and self-control. Thus they are more susceptible to such undesirable information as violence and pornography easily accessible on the Internet. Similarly, it is more difficult for them than for adults to realize the hazard it may cause and to refrain from imitation. It is even more persuasive that they are much more likely to be reshaped to responsible, law-abiding individuals by lighter sentences, also due to their underdeveloped and flexible minds. Exploration into teenagers’ mental development justifies a distinction between punishments for the same gross misconduct by adolescent and grownups who are emotionally and cognitively mature.

Apart from mental deficiency, young offenders themselves are in many circumstances victims of unjust treatment adults are not confronted with or manage to overcome. A great many research projects have offered evidence that unlike adults, serious crimes committed by teenagers are closely associated with indifference, alienation, even maltreatment from family. Heavy penalty is untenable in the sense that it ignores the root causes for those crimes and may make this vulnerable group even more vulnerable. Love, education and guidance would be more effective measures against hostility.

In conclusion, when committed by young people, punishment for serious crimes should be lighter for the sake of equity and correction.