作者：武汉学校-李砚丹-托福独立作文-20181014

题目：Do you think that one needs to take risks to finally reach success, or to keep cautious and careful and take less risks? (2018.10.14)

Success remains a mystery to many people, and people are always keen to find the key to success. Some people think that if you want to succeed, you must first do things carefully and try to avoid taking risks. However, other adventurers point out that greater risk can bring greater success. I agree with the adventurers, because before finally obtaining success, risk always follows.

First of all, the spirit of adventure means passion and creativity, and passion and creativity are both essential for success. 【中心句】Passion can bring success, because only continuous passion can make people work hard and devote themselves, allowing them to try various fields and finally find the areas where they are good at. 【状语表结果】People without passion have no chance of success. On the other hand, creativity gives passion a direction to vent. 【提出另一个角度】If you have only passion but do not know how to utilize it, then success is always in doubt. And creativity can open the channel for venting passion. Therefore, it is adventure that can bring success, because these traits that only adventurers possess are necessary for success.【强调句】

Secondly, only by taking risks in new fields can we achieve greater success. 【中心句】【倒装句强调】Throughout today's lists of richest people, it is not difficult to find that if you want to start from scratch and get huge wealth and success, discovering a new market is the right thing to do. 【动名词作主语】If we always repeat our predecessors' paths, it will be difficult to gain an absolute advantage in the competition, and we will only be caught in a bitter battle with other practitioners. Being distinguished in the market can not only make you quickly take priority but also mean greater risk. 【not only...but also...构成的平行结构】If Tesla did not manufacture electric vehicles, or Microsoft did not develop a Windows operating system, then the names Elon Marx and Bill Gates would never have all of their huge influence now.【虚拟语气】

Overall, all the characteristics of adventurers and the risks they take in new markets make the spirit of adventure a prerequisite for success. If you want to succeed, don't be afraid of risk!

写作思路：

除了高频出现的教育和个人偏好类话题之外，工作与成功也是一个较高频次出现的题目。很多同学看见工作与成功类的题目就会感到头疼，因为对于大多数同学来说，工作还是一个较为陌生的概念，即便能勉强想到思路，也会更加偏向于学校内的成功，而跟社会和工作轻微脱节，没那么紧扣题目。

其实工作和成功这类话题也不困难，同学们可以从两方面入手，一方面是观察自己的家人，另一方面是社会上的成功人士，通过他们的事迹总结分论点，同时也有了恰当的例子可以举。

这道题目讨论的是，成功需要的是冒险，还是保持谨慎并且少承担风险呢？其实两个选项都有恰当的分论点，那么这里我们想使用科技界巨头，比尔盖茨和伊隆马斯克的例子。他们都是在全新的领域获得巨大成功的人，因此这篇范文里，我们的观点是，人们要承担风险才能获得成功。

文章结构：

采用了标准的总分总结构，两个中间段都用来直接表明分论点，支持观点。个段落从中心句提到的两个方面入手，分别进行说理论证。第二个段落通过耳熟能详的名人事例，使分论点更加易于被人理解和接受。

主题相关语料：

热衷于（某事） keen to

创意给了热情一个出口（套话） creativity gives passion a direction to vent

处于疑问之中 in doubt

为……打开出口 open the channel for

从零开始（描述工作） start from scratch

跟随某人的步伐 follow one's path

获得优势 gain an advantage

占领先机（描述市场） take priority

陷入苦战（描述市场） be caught in a bitter battle